I Think We’re Losing Him, Doc

Every one of these Nigerian/Ivory Coast/Liberian/Any African Nation scams is eventually going to try and bilk you out of your money. This is the first time I’ve been solicited in this way though:

Dear CJ,

Thanks for your mail and efforts to see that this that we will claim out this box from the security company please please and please don’t let the security company to know the content of the box as money because my late husband deposited it as family valuables not as money ok hope you understands me very well ok.

Now the most important thing is that my son Alfred is in intensive unit he is seriously oin coomma that i really need your help to borrow me the sum amount of $300 dollars so that i will use the money to complete the $1000 dollars that the hospital asked me to pay before his complete treatment if not his life is in denger so please forget anyother thing and send to me that $300 dollars ok so that i will do that the money i will balance you back as soon as we claim out the box in the security company because my son’s life is very very important than even the box in the security company ok waiting for you to send to me the money urgently.

Yours sincerely.

Madam Joy Kokou.

I wrote her back expressing sorrow and asked how I send her the money. Nothing funny or special about this one since I wanted her to get to the point immediately so I could set up the shots. Here is her response:

Dear CJ,

Thanks for your mail and williness to assits me in my situations and to save the life of my son i am greatful to you sir. Offcourse you will use my name through western union money transfer to send the money i will recieve it by tommorrow morning.

Name Joy Kokou.
Question: what is my pets name.
Answer: Bobby.
Control number:———————————————————-
State/Country: Abidjan Cote D Ivoire West Africa.

Senders Name:————————————————————–
Country of Origine of Sender——————————————-

Dear that is how you will send it to me ok i will recieve it ok i am very greatful to you CJ for your concern and caring for my son’s life hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Yours Sincerely.
Madam Joy Kokou.

And my reply:

Joy, I tried to send money today but in order to complete my application and authorize Western Union, they need to verify your identity. They told me to have you send $25 through Western Union to me to confirm the order. Since I know you need money right now, once they authorize me, i’ll send you $325 to cover your troubles. It’s not a lot of money but they won’t let me send money out of the country without it.

I had the same problem sending money to Europe last year, but it’s not as expensive as then. Last year, I had to have my mother pay $98 to send her money. I really apologize for this. Western Union won’t let me waive the fee even though I told them that your only child and son Alfred is suffering from toxoplasmosis and could die any minute. I also told them that already his fingers were falling off one by one and that I urgently needed to send money. I even told them to think about poor Booby, your favorite pet. I, too, had a pet black widow spider I called Booby. I had to put her down because she kept stinging me and I got tired of my skin rotting off. Three of my appendages are already held together with 550 cord and 100 mph tape. I look like a modern day mummy when I’m at the swimming pool. The life guard always tells me I have to wear a swimsuit. As soon as I take off all the bandages, they change their mind and quickly force me to get dressed again.

Just send the money to me and I’ll send the whole $325 back to you. I’ll be able to send your money tomorrow as soon as they call me. I don’t have to work tomorrow since someone else is milking the llamas for me all this week. If it’ll help, I’ll throw in another $25 as a grand prize totalling $350 for your troubles. It’ll be like playing the Price Is Right. Here’s my information

Name CJ Grisham.
Question: what is my pets name. (use the same one)
Answer: Bobby. (use the same one)
Control
number:———————————————————-
State/Country: California, United States.

Senders
Name:————————————————————–
Country of Origin of Sender——————————————-

Again, I hope I can help you save your only child and son Alfred. If we’re too late, I can always help you make another.

Coming To Your Aid,
CJ

4 Comments on “I Think We’re Losing Him, Doc

  1. That is the funniest email I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh!!!

  2. am also LMAO…..”help you make another”…..Priceless!!!!!

  3. Now Cj
    Help her make another??????? Ohhh I don’t think sooooooo!!!!!

  4. ok, i cant take it anymore…..those f****** replies to “Joy” are priceless……im laughing my ass of here at work and people are looking at me like im crazy.

    you need to keep that going as long as you can; you have a great imagination and sense of humor…thanks for the laughs

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