Updated on December 27, 2011
Chronicles of Malek
Okay, so I’m back on with Malek it may seem. I tried to restart things on a good note:
Dearest Beloved Malek,
I apologize for getting emotional before. Last week I lost my wedding ring and replaced it with a ringworm so my wife wouldn’t notice and I was just very depressed. Then you stopped writing me and my entire world fell apart.
$9000 is no problem. My business has been doing so well I’ve been able to hire two illegal immigrants that I bought from some Arizona militiamen to help me out around the shack. But, I’m still concerned about this agreement. $9000 is still a lot of money. I have the paperwork for Western Union, but I still don’t know you.
Since you lowered your price, allow me to lower mine. I will cut my honesty in half to $125 that I request. I will still send you $500 with the $9000 to repay you for your trust for a total of $9500. I need to know that YOU are serious. I, too, want a diplomatic shipment and I believe we can come to an agreement this way. I need to know that I can trust you as much as you can trust me. I trust you more than my own wife. She cheated on me with Jack Russell Terrier, who lives next door. You are my last hope for humanity, Malek.
Malek, we are both about to be millionaires. This $125 shouldn’t be a huge request. I’ll be paying the $9500 immediately after I receive payment from you, so you will NOT be out any money. And I know that my $9500 will get me the millions you spoke of so I win too. It’s a win/win situation for both of us my brother. Please let me know.